Just (7pm) had a phone call from a TV agency – had I heard of Mel & Sue’s TV show? Yes. Would I like to come on and teach something to Mary Berry & Paul Hollywood? Yes. When is it? Midday tomorrow. Do these people never plan more than 24 hours ahead?

I’m reminded of a similar (non)event a few years ago, when the Graham Norton show invited me to come along and teach a paper penis to Susanna Hoffs from the Bangles! This personal wet dream scenario was also the very next day and sadly also impossible.

Grrrrr